I hope you or your cat did not find any of the following items under the Christmas Tree this year. If I were you, I’d make sure they’re banned from your Birthday List as well! Better yet, take a preemptive strike and send this post to anyone who may be considering getting you a gift in the near future.
Are we wrong here? Did we leave anything out? Do tell! Some items are universally more offensive than others, but we don’t care for any of them.
In no particular order (though we’d love to hear which one you find the biggest #FAIL of them all):
1) CRAZY CAT LADY CAT FOOD SCENTED SOAP
Because all a woman with cats needs is to smell like cat food. Check out the “selling” points below:
- “Bathing with this pungent soap will ensure that you’re constantly in the company of cats.”
- “Perfect for crazy cat ladies and other feline enthusiasts!”
The most glaring omission is the flavor of cat food the bar smells like. Seriously people. What if I want to attract a cat who only likes turkey?
I’m half tempted to get it just to see if it passes the cat-test of truly smelling like cat food. But no way am I giving them my money!
PS – I’m generally NOT a fan of anything that starts off “crazy cat lady” – nice way to reinforce the stereotype people. GRRR!!!
Spelling aside – if you read this blog you know I refrain from “purrrrrfect” and any other cat-modified words – do you know any cats with such a burning love for hard plastic bristles? If they did, wouldn’t we know by now? Our sink and toilet brushes would have been history!
They claim this contraption helps remove shedding fur while massaging your cat and keeping him/her entertained for HOURS. That I’d love to see.
Apparently they couldn’t get a REAL cat to pose in the manner they desired because is it just me or does that cat on the upper left look like an illustration? And oddly similar in appearance to the animatronic cat in the SMURF movie (upper right).
3) DUMB CAT: ANTI-MARKING & CAT SPRAY REMOVER
I have no idea how any retailer carries this product let alone how it actually sells. We love our cats and we’re going to purchase a product that calls them “dumb” and includes an illustration of them sitting in a human toilet? Not sure what that’s all about. #FAIL
4) ROAD KILL CAT PRODUCTS
Where to start. These are likely the absolute worst items on the list. The fact they’re so prevalent and range the gamut from children’s toys, dog chew toys and even “art” – seemingly crossing cultural divides as well.
The “toy” on the left seems to be for children. Look at the image of the very happy, rosey-cheeked young boy.
I’m beyond disgusted at the message these toys – or whatever they are – send to children and adults alike, about the value of a living creature’s worth. In this case, that of a cat’s which seems to rank quite low.
Below left meet “SPLAT THE ROAD KILL KAT,” part of the MEANIES SERIES designed to be the adult version of the beanie babies. The description reads:
“Splat The Road Kill Kat didn’t cross at the green. A big truck was coming that couldn’t be seen. To the left and the right this kat didn’t look, and now poor Splat is as flat as a book…when a Meanie design ceased production, it was ‘Exterminated’ instead of Retired.”
Lovely.
Above right is a rubber tire track dog chew toy I had the “pleasure” of seeing in person at a local pet shop not long ago albeit in all black. A black roadkill cat. Even “better.” ARGH! Oh, and it squeaks.
The gem below is “art” by Patricia Waller who hails from Germany. This disemboweled plush cat is from her “Accident” series circa 2004. More recent works include Winnie the Pooh who has hung himself and a violated Minnie Mouse.
5) CAR EAR TIARA HEADBANDS FROM ASOS
Let’s lighten thing up a bit and talk fashion shall we?
If you like cat ear headbands that’s one thing. Tiara’s another. But to mix the two genres. I’m not sure it’s working for me. Particularly the model on the lower right. She doesn’t look all there to me. Slightly vacant. A very scary prom queen.
However, if you are compelled to run out and get one, they are on sale so hurry up!
First off, who is this for? The cat? Really? Is it edible? If not forget it. Secondly, every cat parent thinks their cat is the best cat. We don’t need an $11 trophy thanks.
7) ASOS BERET HAT WITH CAT EARS
I don’t own any cat hats. But if I did, I’d make sure it didn’t look like this. Nice attempt at copying the far more spendy Eugenia Kim cat hat, but this ASOS version is a complete #FAIL in my book.
The base is far too large and puffy for the ears to look remotely cat-like. If you MUST get me a cat hat, I’ll take the one for $200+ below thanks! =^^=
8) FURMINATOR NAIL GRINDER (for dogs and cats)
It’s no secret I’m a HUGE advocate of the FURminator deshedding tool (just check out my post “FURminator Face-Off“). This tool gets so much fur off your cat you can literally create another cat out of it. Trust me, people have done it!
But the FURMINATOR NAIL GRINDER on the other hand….the name alone makes me cringe. Nail grinder! Eek!
While this product actually gets good reviews online, they appear to be from dog owners. Which makes sense. But good luck sticking a cat’s nail in the tiny hole for long enough to grind the nail down. PLUS, cat’s nails tend to split, not being as hard as those of a dog’s.
I think they need to reconsider their target for this product.
***BONUS EXTRA*** AND POTENTIALLY STUPIDEST CAT PRODUCT OF ALL!
CATNIP-FILLED CHRISTMAS TREE ORNAMENTS
I saw these at Target and thought they were so cute as cat toys but could not figure out why they had the elastic bands on them. Then it hit me. OMG, they are catnip toys for the CHRISTMAS TREE???!?!!! Like we don’t have enough trouble keeping the cats out of the tree! Seriously, who’s the genius who thought of this one?!
Okay, let it all out. We wanna know. Anything you LOVE we included on this list? Any major 2014 #FAILS we left out? Leave a comment and give us a piece of your mind!
And if you want more of our thoughts on stupid pet products (aka additional entertainment), check out these posts:
8 TERRIBLE HOLIDAY GIFTS FOR CATS
17 Responses to 8 #Cat & #CatThemed Products That Are 2014 #Fails