Flickr.com (Rachel Love)
As Mother’s Day approaches, I thought it would be timely to examine the mother-child relationship.
In an edition of Pscyhologies.co.uk, from the mid-2000s, family therapist and clinical psychologist Dr Stephan Poulter explained there were Five Mother Archetypes.
What if we apply these archetypes to mothers of fur children?
Do you recognize yourself in any of the five mother types? I’d say (unscientifically of course) that if you can identify with 2 out of the 4 items listed, it might mean you have a tendency towards that particular mothering type.
1) Perfectionist Mother: Described by Poulter as, “Typically, an over-controlling, fearful, anxious person for whom appearance is everything.”
- Is every piece of litter swept off the floor before anyone is allowed in the home?
- Are the cats wearing matching collars and brushed daily to reduce shedding and ensure all traces of dander are vanquished?
- Can an air fresheners be found plugged into a socket in each room?
- Are sticky rollers stashed in every corner of your home, car – and even your purse – heaven forbid someone actually think you have a cat?
- Is potty training your cat one of your life-long objectives?
2) Unpredictable Mother: “Anxious and excessively emotional, her parenting style is based purely on mood,” said Poulter.
- Do your cats eat at different times each day depending on when you get up or remember to feed them?
- Have you frequently forgotten to purchase cat food and feed your felines whatever happens to be in the refrigerator?
- Are you excessively loving and overindulging towards your cats one moment blasé the next, yelling at them if they hack-up a hair ball on your white carpet?
- Have you called your vet about the smallest scratch on your cat’s nose, but paid no attention the abscess on his head?
3) The Best Friend Mother: According to Poulter, “She enjoys treating her children as equals in order to avoid the responsibility of setting boundaries.”
- Do you allow your cats to eat what they want, when they want it, even if it means opening multiple cans to ensure they get a flavor they’re willing to eat?
- Are your cats allowed everywhere in your home? The countertops, dining table, your boyfriend even if he doesn’t like it and the brand new sofa – even if they scratch it?
- Is half of your bed dedicated strictly to the cats for their sleeping pleasure even if you have company over? In which case you might end up going to the guest room or even a hotel so as not to disturb them?
- Do you cook for yourself and your cats?
4) The Me-First Mother: Interesting Poulter believed this was, “One of the most prevalent mothering styles, me-firsts are unable to view their children as separate individuals and tend to be self-absorbed and insecure.”
- Do you eat in front of your cats before feeding them?
- When your cat’s cry for their food in the morning do you kick them out of the room, close the door and put in your earplugs?
- Are you skimping on the number of litter boxes in your home because you don’t like the way they look?
- Do you get angry at your cats for getting cat hair on your black clothing?
5) The Complete Mother: “This ideal is only experienced by about 10% of us”, says Poulter. “The complete mother combines the best elements of the other four styles.”
Really, the picture along with the statistic that only 10% of women fall into this category says it all. I think I’ll leave this one be.
If I’m honest with myself I think I’m a mix of Amy Poehler (The Best Friend Mom) and Snooki (the Me-First mom). Donna Reed, Joan Crawford or the Virgin Mary I can say with utmost confidence, I am not.
Now it’s your turn to fess up. Which Mom Archetype are you?
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