Here are 8 items that for your sake (and kitty’s) are not under your holiday tree this year. Clothing is not on the list because just as with two-legged kids, they don’t want it!
1) Inflatable Unicorn Horn
If the name of the product isn’t enough to deter you from purchasing it, here’s what Dave Barry has to say about this…um…unique gift item:
If you know anything about cats you know how much they enjoy being dressed up as mythical figures. To use this horn you simply bow it up and attach it to your cat’s head with elastic straps. Then it’s time to sit back and enjoy the ensuing hilarity for several lighthearted nanoseconds. And then it’s time to go to the emergency room.
2) Wigs (and we’re not talking merkins)
I don’t have words. Your cat does not want a wig. Trust me on this. Instead why don’t you purchase that kooky cat lover or cat stylist on your holiday gift the book Glamourpuss: The Enchanting World of Kitty Wigs
No additional cats need be humiliated and you’re support the ones that have already endured the indignity (you’ll def get a chuckle out of it!).
3) Play Paw
Or any toy that teaches your kitten or cat that your hand is a toy! Come on Doctors Fosters and Smith – you should know better!
4) Crinkle & Toss Catnip Scented Papers
Has it come to this? We have to purchase paper to crinkle up and toss to our cats?
What about purchasing Post-It notes and spraying them with catnip spray? A heck of a lot cheaper and that sticky strip will provide much more entertainment for you when kitty can’t get it off his/her paw.Or heck. Just do what I do and crinkle your bills – recycling at its best!
5) Fur dye
Kitty is not an accessory and was born with the color he/she was meant to be! I like how they say the product can be used for cats and dogs but good luck trying to find a photo of a cat as an example.
Have we already forgotten that Natasha Gregory almost had her cat taken away from her for dying her pink to match her hair?
6) Rear Gear
As with the fur dye, they say it’s for cats and dogs but I have yet to find a photo of a real cat allowing this to be placed on him/her. I can imagine your cats reaction to this would be much like that of the inflatable unicorn horn (not good and very short lived).
And what happens when they go to poop? The Rear Gear gets poopy? ewwww!
7) Toys That Look Like They Were Made for infants
Your cat is not an infant. These look like teething rings. You should absolutely never have toys like this if you are a single woman. Your male callers will think you are hiding a human baby from them. Also, it’s just embarrassing for your cat. Get him/her something cool looking to gnaw on like a severed leg or wine glass catnip toy.
8) Litter Kwitter
At first I thought the idea of toilet training my cats was brilliant. No more litter to scoop ever (thought could be slightly awkward to walk in on your cat in the bathroom!)!
But besides the fact that famed cat whisperer Jackson Galaxy is not a fan of toilet training, I learned that flushing cat poop is dangerous to our environment! In fact, in California it’s illegal to flush cat litter/poop.
That’s because the parasite that causes toxoplasmosis cannot be filtered through our water purification system. And it’s been linked to deaths in sea otters and Hawaiian monk seals – the parasite has even been found in humpback whales and dolphins!
I’m sure I’ve left a few undesirable gifts out of this list so be sure to leave a comment and let me know what other terrible cat gift ideas you’ve seen lately.
What will YOUR kitties find under the tree this year?
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