Never Say Never, Again.

The older I get, the more truth I find in adages I’ve dismissed as clichés my entire life.

Don’t judge a book by its cover,

Youth is wasted on the young,

No good deed goes unpunished,

You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone (or are those just lyrics to a Cinderella song?),

and NEVER SAY NEVER.

I’m the woman who proclaimed she’d never have cat portraits on her walls…

…or ever dress up as a “sexy” cat.

Never make a flat pet (I never saw the need)…

…or go to a dog wedding (or any pet wedding for that matter).

For the record Kip totally recognized his flat self as some sort of cat…he was on-guard, approached gingerly and smelled thoroughly.

Talk about having pie on my face.

July 12th, 2012 found me and Flat Kip at Manhattan’s legendary Jumeirah Essex House Hotel on Central Park, for the most expensive dog wedding ever with pet celebrity/spokesperson Wendy Diamond’s rescue pup Hope as bride.

It was all for a good cause – the Humane Society of New York – and everything for the wedding was donated (so it was the value of the wedding that made it the most expensive, not the actual funds spent).

Kip was technically part of the wedding party, but not everyone thought Flat Kip was as cute and funny as I did. I was hoping he’d at least get a bow tie to sport. Perhaps I should have put him on wheels?

Anyway, what we really need to talk about here is how I ended up meeting two fab guys who made me feel like the belle of the ball!

Oh, did I mention one of those men is a male model with whom I danced all night? Oh yeah, you heard me. I certainly never thought that would happen.

Me-wow, as Kitty Softpaws would say (and if you have to ask…never mind).

It wasn’t but a few days later I heard about the computer rendered image of Christian Grey.

For the record I have NOT read 50 Shades of Grey. Primarily, because I’m not a suburban Mom (no offense) but mostly because a single girlfriend advised me not to unless I had someone to come home to…if you catch my meaning (dear lord, I sound like an episode of Happy Days.).

OMG BO ROBERTS IS CHRISTIAN GREY! I mean come on people. The resemblance is uncanny.

Sadly, it was not meant to be (15+ year age gap not withstanding). The lights of Hollywood beckoned Bo back to the West Coast where he has most recently posed for the cover of a magazine.

A gay men’s magazine. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

And as for the white cat get-up. I was invited to a (Dirty) James Bond party, and in an effort to put a never-before-worn white dress to good use, decided to dress up as Ernst Stavro Blofeld’s cat (the character after which Dr Evil was modeled).