(Mis)Adventures in Fake Meat

For those of you new to my blog wondering what fake meats have to do with kitties, let me explain. I’ve been a pescatarian (each seafood but no meat) for several years because of my cats (check out my post “Feline Mignon” for that story). Given my disgust of factory farming I aspire to a cruelty free diet. For now I’m taking baby steps (aka flirting with vegan) telling myself that “something is better than nothing.”

To that end, there’s a plethora of terrible vegan fare to be had. Enough to turn off even the motivated vegetarian/vegan. So I try to review the good, bad and ugly when it comes to vegan foods I encounter. Enjoy!

While at Whole Foods today I came across Gimme Lean Ground Beef Style non-meat meat substitute and decided to give it a try. I used it in my vegan lasagna tonight. Verdict: If you like to eat do not ever – NEVER ever – purchase this product. It smells and tastes like chemicals, and has a sticky consistency for which I can imagine the 80s phrase “grody to the max” was coined.

I’m not alone in my opinions. Blogger “No Meat Athlete” captured the Gimme Lean “experience” perfectly.

“So we used Gimme Lean for tacos, and the only thing I could say was ‘Gimme something different to eat.’ I’d sooner eat no tacos than eat these again. The meat-substitute was slimy, weird tasting, and I won’t even start on what Erin thought it resembled in the pan.”

I’m truly shocked the same folks who make Smart Ground make this I-can’t-even-call-it-food product.

Next up, Veggie Patch Meatless Meatballs. Verdict: While not offensive, cannot be described as good. I’ll take Trader Joe’s meatless balls any day (though I know they are quite high in sodium).