Love cats but violently allergic or landlord won’t allow them? Never fear, today’s post is just for you. Follow the 13 tips provided below and you’ll feel like you’re living with a pack of felines in no time!
1 – Cat Decals
Cat decals will make you do a double take every once in a while. “Is that a cat on my sofa?….no, just a decal, silly me!” The cat decals from Dezignwithaz shown below run anywhere from $25 – $198 based on the size, and can be customized by position and color.
In addition to the more traditional black and white, they also come in colors like purple, yellow and green cat to match your decor. Can’t do that with a real cat (or you shouldn’t at least!).
2 – Felted Cats
Midori Nakayama’s Needle Felting
3 – “Distressed” Furniture
Take a pair of scissors, nail clippers, knife or rake and go to town. You’ll start enjoying it once you get into it. After this process theres no way you’ll ever be accused of being cat-less because who else would live like this?
The owners of the furniture pictured would not like to be identified as they believe they are fooling people by using throws to cover up the “distressed” portions of the furniture in question.
4 – Cat Pillows
Pick the type of cat you want and viola! The biggest bonus? These cats will actually let you use them as a pillow unlike the real ones (they tend to get impatient and testy).
5 – Cat-Themed Bedding
If you don’t have a real cat to sleep with you must surround yourself with the approximation of cats at night. For example, the cat-head silhouette pillow cases from Xenotees and the bedspread from Snurk sporting Ollie the cat add just the right touch of cat to the bedroom.
6 – Realistic Cat Doll
A furry stuffed animal like “Lulu My Cuddlin’ Kitty Cat,” will allow you to partake in the cat-cuddling experience without the need for Benadryl. Lulu moves and makes cat noises when you touch her. Pat her head and she’ll purr. Scratch her whiskers – Who scratches a cat’s whiskers?!?– and she’ll move her head.
Never you mind the fact that sweet Lulu will set you back $299 before taxes (but hey, shipping is free!).
7 – Cat Movies
Watch at least one cat movie each night so you’ll really feel like there’s a cat in your home. It’s like being with a different cat every night! Some will make you wish you had a few fur monsters right there beside you, while others will make you grateful for your allergy status.
8 – Oversized Cat Sofa
While a bit extreme, and something that cannot be accommodated by everyone’s living arrangements, there’s nothing better than a cat sofa to curl up with (or would that be in?)
From an art exhibit in Manchester. The cat sofa is approximately 11.5 feet in length.
9 – Power of The Purr
A cat purring CD
- “I think it helps with stress and migraines and depression.”
- “It reaches me on a level that neither Beethoven nor Mozart can.”
- “Purchased for wife as relaxation product. She loves it, especially when our cats are busy or asleep.” (Okay, SOMEONE needs intervention, I hear a purr addiction if there ever was one!)
10 – Power of The Purr – Take 2
If the average kitten purring is too mundane for you then you’re in luck, because there is an alternative in The SoundObject Mew sculpture.
Created by some very creative students at the Royal College of Art in London, the sculpture begins to purr when it detects someone moving towards it (in an almost come hither way). When a person begins to pet it, the SoundObject Mew sculpture makes some pretty funky and slightly terrifying meows depending on how it’s being pet/stroked.
Mind you there’s currently only one in existence so be warned it might be hard to procure.
11 – Litter
If you had a real cat you would most certainly have litter, so we cannot forget to incorporate that into your home. There are some very nice lavender and pine-scented litters on the market these days that can double as potpourri. For a more festive feel, add votives to glasses filled with litter and everyone will think they’re fancy candle holders!
In addition, it’s critical to sprinkle bits of litter around the kitchen, bathroom and living room. Ideally you would also make sure to put some in-between the sofa cushions and your sheets.
12- Cat Food
Leave some out for about 30 minutes twice a day – make sure to microwave first to get the scents flowing. Wet food preferable. They haven’t made wet cat food scented room spray yet, so you’ll have to go for the real thing. Just make sure to leave it out long enough that the scent fills the kitchen or whichever room you’d feed your cat if you had one.
13 – Back Scratcher
At first blush this might seem like an odd addition to the list but hear me out and I think you’ll agree it’s absolutely vital to the cat ownership experience.
Have a neighbor, friend, or loved one come over around 6am and ever so gently tickle your nose and ears with said back scratcher. They should do this repeatedly (mewing at the same time if they so desire) until you’ve almost been driven made, can’t take it any more, and get up to feed your non-existent-cat.
I hope you’ve found these tips helpful as you begin your journey to cat-less cat ownership. Don’t fret, soon enough you’ll be sharing cat memes, laughing at cat GIFs and talking about Grumpy Cat’s upcoming Birthday like the rest of us who really do have cats. Heck, you might even start complaining about cat hair on your clothes!
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