11 Cats You Don’t Want To Date

Cats are proud creatives who would have you believe they are as close to perfection as any creature can be. But on this day of love, on Valentine’s Day, we wonder, if they turned to the world of online dating, would they make the same mistakes us mere humans do in an effort to impress?

We most certainly think they would, and here are the top 11 mistakes we’re quite sure they’d fall prey to (as most humans do).

1) Profile photo with poor attempt at cropping out ex

2) Hat guy (you have no idea what’s under there)

3) Scenery photo guy (yeh, we get it, you travel)


4) Cat who looks like this online…..


…and this in person.


5) Cat with a professional headshot (good for you, you have a job)


6) Too many selfies (or any selfies for that matter)

SELFIE_edited-1 7) Frat boy cats


8) Obligatory hairy chest shot


9) I’m-good-with-kids-guy (whose kids are those anyway? It’s always hard to tell)


10) Profile with above-the-neck shots only….


…who looks like this below the neck.


11) Hot tub guy (with underage kittens no less)


For those of you who have experienced the horrors of online dating. Which ones did we miss? I’m sure there must be at least a few! Heck, we can always make a part two!

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  • mr. creosote

    #3 reminds me a bit of Happy Cat when he was traveling for cheezburgers.


    • Tamar

      Tehe! 🙂

  • MOL! BTW, check your email – you got picked for a Valentine from me!

    • Tamar


  • Karly

    You need the sports car shot!

  • Rena

    These are a riot! And would be just a tad bit scary if I were a female cat! I made Phoebe and Audrey cover their eyes and told Joey and Kipper that if I ever found them posting photos like these on dating sites, it would be nothing but dry food for them!

    • Tamar

      Your a good iron-fisted mommy! LOL!

  • jmuhj

    MOL!!!!!!!! (Well, in the human world there’d be the sociopath. But sociopath cat? I don’t think so.)

    • Tamar

      Ya never know! 🙂

  • omg Tamar you did it again! absolutely positively hysterical!! !

    • Tamar

      Awwwwww shucks! Thank ya mame 😉

  • So funny. Glad when we ran our Match.Cat to get dates for Valentine’s Day that we didn’t end up with any of these losers! Purrs and paw-pats, Lily OLivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

    • Tamar

      TEHE! I love it! Match.cat! 🙂

  • LOL i learned my lesson about online dating — and i would take ANY of these cats over the humans i met 🙂

    • Tamar

      Good point!

  • That was the funniest thin I read tonight! Thank’s for the laugh!

    • Tamar

      So happy you enjoyed! Love hearing I can make someone laugh!

  • Ceci Hampson

    I saw Petie pants! Love him!

    • Tamar

      Tehe! Busted! He was in fact there! That was when he was pushing 20lbs, before his 3-4 lb weight loss!

  • Betty Boop

    You missed vacation home and small plane!

  • wilemutt

    Don’t forget the ones holding dead mice and snakes! What potential date wouldn’t swoon?!

  • MOL! You forgot married guy!

  • Rena

    Priceless! So clever. Of course my cats would never lie or post fake cheesecake shots! 😉

  • ROFLMAO! High-larious!

  • Jules

    #2 is probably a cross-dresser, too, since calico cats are almost always female!

  • jodie

    Dexter really needs to be featured in one of these.