10 Embarrassing Singleton Confessions

 

1. I hate Brazilians (the wax not the people).  I’ve had it once. Never again. Not because it’s painful – which it is –  but because it made me feel fat.  I don’t need another body part to have a complex about.

See what I mean?

 

2. I only shave for my trainer. At least in the winter. He’s the only third party seeing or touching my legs (when he stretches me out). And he has the nerve to complain about the stubble. No way am I shaving  BEFORE my morning work out! He needs to be grateful I shave at all!

3. I’ve had Botulinum toxin (Botox) injected into my forehead.  In fairness to me, it was only once on my wedding day 40th Bday.  I actually called my Dermatologist to complain convinced it hadn’t taken because I could still move my forehead. To which she replied, “You’re supposed to be able to, it’s not supposed to paralyze you” Um, right. I knew that…

Botulinum toxin

 

4. I’ve been dumb enough to purchase a $98 white t-shirt. In which I promptly got a hole after one wearing.

5. I don’t own a pair of Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin, or Manolo Blahnik. I’ve never even tried on a pair. Don’t tell anyone for fear they’ll revoke my single in the city status!

 

 

6. I lied about my age. By a year. I made myself a year younger in my online dating profile. By one year. What’s that about? I mean, if you’re gonna lie why not go all in? It’s like lying about your salary by a few thousand bucks.

7. My matchmaker cancelled on me. Okay, she postponed but still. I told her it traumatized me. She found that funny.

8. My spice rack resembles a medicine cabinet.

 

9. I get my wine delivered. From around the corner. No really, I do. I call and say “it’s the cat lady,” and they know what to deliver where. My credit card is on-file. I’m not proud of it, but once when my cell wasn’t working I emailed my sister and had her call the wine store on my behalf.

10. A guy saw my rabbit. A male friend of mine followed Petie up the stairs in to my bedroom where he encountered my rabbit. And not the four-legged animal kind.  I’ll never live it down.

 

Do you have any embarrassing confessions?  Here’s your chance to get them off your chest. At the very least you’ll make me feel better 🙂

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  • You are a brave, brave woman!

    • ihavecatnyc

      is it #10? I debated about that one! LOL

  • I think I enjoy being single in the city more, vicariously, through you, than I would enjoy in real life! It sounds like so much work. I don’t shave my legs for anyone. Ever. Now where the bunny is concerned…

    • I think it’s DEF more fun to live it vicariously! it’s funny only because if not it would make a person cry! LOL! 🙂

  • annameow

    This is brilliant! Thanks for the laugh!!!

  • You are awesome. That is all.

    • No YOU ARE! 🙂

      • karen mcskeezix

        U BOTH R!

        • carolinegolon

          All THREE of you are!

  • Linda

    My rabbit lives under the bed. 😉

  • Well, I’m with you on number 5. If you live in the city, you want shoes in which you can comfortably walk. I’m not wearing skyscraper heels, even if I am just under 5’0″. And I rarely shave, which is okay because my body hair is pretty sparse.

    I don’t have a trainer.

    • Thanks for the support/reinforcement! 🙂

  • Chris

    Can only agree with the others – thanks for the laugh – great start for the weekend…Confessions – lied about the age as well – 3yrs younger, but confessed before I got married – LOL

    • OMG you waited that long! Until right before you got married? LOL! How long did you keep that one a secret?! Love it!

  • sam

    By rabbit, you mean the wine opener, right?

  • Zoey

    E Harmony said I was unmatchable.:) Thank you Tamar for making us laugh! We all love you! You are brilliant and make us all feel better…..

    • Thank YOU for your love and encouragement. Glad you enjoyed the post! It wasn’t the most popular one by far but I’m loving all the comments!

  • Ms. Pants

    Single Confession: I talk all the time when I’m alone in the house. I talk to the cats, I talk to people who aren’t there (the “dammit, I should have said….” kind of conversations), I talk to the television, I narrate what I’m doing. Sometimes I bust into random song instead of just narrating. Sometimes there’s also spontaneous choreography.

    • Love it! It’s not that embarrassing don’t worry (unless someone tapes you! LOL)

  • We’ve been known to reuse coffee grinds 3x to make it last (just sprinkle a little more on top…it’ll be fine). A paper towel also works great in place of coffee filters.

    • I’ve TOTALLY done the paper towel thing, you are not alone don’t fret! 3x for coffee grinds wouldn’t work for me…i like mine SUPER STRONG!

    • karen mcskeezix

      I do this every morning. Hubbs drinks decaf. So he brews the pot and when I’m ready, I remove the pot, heap high octane caff grounds on top the freshly brewed grounds and brew it into my coffee cup. Then put his pot back on.

  • Keith Phillips

    You lost me on the “rabbit” one. ????apparently slang with which I am not familiar. Clues?? Aside from that, Brave post! But I bet you find you’re not that different from many (at least in these respects).

    • Google it 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for the reinforcement!

  • Lady, get thee to a shoe store stat. I confess to working in my leopard print jammies most days.

  • Oh god, thanks for this very entertaining post!
    I’ve never ever done anything embarrassing in my life 😉

    • ihavecatnyc

      Riiiiight 🙂

  • jmuhj

    *SPEECHLESS*

    • ihavecatnyc

      Oh dear….in a good way? 😮

  • Texas, a Cat in New York

    You mean you didn’t even let the kitties do the hole in the $98 white t-shirt?

    • ihavecatnyc

      I know, can u believe it?! Argh!

  • karen mcskeezix

    I let the cat sleep on top of the coffeemaker. I kick the cats out of the room so they won’t encounter the rabbit.

  • carolinegolon

    These are all awesome. But I think #3 and #9 are my faves. “It’s the cat lady, I need more wine!” I would totally order wine if I could. Even from around the corner.

  • Deb Barnes – Zee & Zoey

    After my 23 year marriage fell apart, I had to get a
    roommate (female) in order to help pay the monthly mortgage on the house. Money
    was very tight – we had a plumbing emergency (at night, and on a weekend) that
    I knew I could not afford to pay. One low cut tank top later and the inferred
    assumption that my roommate and I were an “item,” you’d be surprised at just
    how affordable a plumber can be…

  • Ahahahahahahaha!

  • catchatcaren

    see what I mean? You soooooooooo have to write a book…or…….do stand-up 🙂

    • ihavecatnyc

      you are too sweet xo

      • catchatcaren

        it’s the truth……you just have a way about you that is hilarious xoxo