Today’s post is a continuation of “The Last 24,” in which I recount 24 hours in a seemingly uneventful weekend (which ends up involving a “spring fling,” cat women and an animal loving guy who may – or may not- be married). In a nutshell, today’s post will certainly make more sense if you read Part I first!
When we spoke last, I’d had a few cocktails, and relieved I hadn’t consumed dog biscuits, had gone to bed and fallen into a deep sleep.
11am the next morning: An unrecognizable number on my Blackberry wakes me. I briefly consider ignoring it, but being the curious (cat) I am, cannot resist.
Me: “Hel – yawn- lo?”
Caller: ““Hi Tamar, It’s Jackson!”
Me: “Oh…hiiii…?” (Think to myself) “Who is this? Jackson? I don’t know any Jacksons. Wait…what day is it? Shit, it’s Saturday. Shit shit shit it’s May 12th!”
I jump out of bed with such force, that Kip is catapulted off. It’s Jackson Galaxy from Animal Planet’s “My Cat From Hell”* calling me for an interview to promote his new book “Cat Daddy!” To make matters worse, I hadn’t read his book. As Homer Simpson would say, “Doh.”
Doing my best to recover and ask educated-sounding questions, I can only hope my sleepiness and surprise are not too noticeable. Admitting the truth is too embarrassing though he seems like a sympathetic laid-back dude who’d just laugh it off.
NOTE: In my defense, the interview had been rescheduled about 3 times by that point.
We say our goodbyes and I realize I’ve got only 30 minutes to shower and pack before my sister picks me up to go visit my parents. I shut my laptop – on which I’d been taking notes furiously – and dash to the closet to grab a suitcase.**
That’s when I see it.
Frequent readers of I HAVE CAT are familiar with my laments about my chunky cat Petie’s lack of weight loss despite his Rx food regime. Mystery solved.
I’d received a shipment of Chihuahua food in error, and was waiting for the company to tell me what to do with it. In the meantime, taped it up as best I could – obviously not well enough – and put it in the back of the downstairs closet under two other boxes.
So it seems that while I’ve been acting as cafeteria police ensuring Petie doesn’t cheat on his diet, schlepping to the vet for special food, and paying the cat sitter double to come for morning and evening feedings. The cats are having an all-you-can-eat midnight buffet in the closet!
Later that day: After dinner with my parents, during which tales of the day were shared, I decide to take a look at my interview notes. That’s when I see it. Laptop drained. Notes gone.
Yup, I’d failed to actually save the word document. As if the interview had never taken place. I could have slept in. Double “Doh.”
****************************
I’m not gonna lie, “Cat Daddy” is still sitting on my bedside table. I’m sure I shouldn’t be admitting that, but the truth just shoots outta me (often to my detriment).
Jackson’s folks were kind enough to give me an extra copy of his book for a give away, which we held last week. And the winner of that giveaway is……Commenter #32, “Skogitta.” Email me at ihavecat(at)gmail.com by July 4th to claim your prize. And, if you finish the book before I do, feel free to submit a book review for consideration!
footnotes: * I firmly believe the name of the show should be “Cat Owners From Hell.” As a therapist once told me. There is no such thing as child psychology, only parent psychology. ** In what I believed to be a moment of brilliance, I purchased new hard-case suitcases for the first time in my life. At least they won’t end up looking like scratching posts right? Well, yes and no. I forgot about static cling (!!).
Lol Tamar you crack me up! But what happened with Richard???
Jackson’s book is great by the way
NOTHING.
You’re fun. If that’s just another weekend for you, you should write about all your weekend adventures! I too wonder what happened with Richard?
Never heard from him! Glad you enjoyed it!
HA! Cafeteria Police! But Richard?? Fill us in!
Seth, Maxx, Newton, Tessa & Pia Bean of Colehaus Cats
He never called or emailed me. BOOOO!
pretty damned funny! I learned the “buffet” lesson a loooong time ago! I keep Dakota’s food in the closet and Cody was doing the same (on top of that he has food allergies!) I now keep Dakota’s bag inside of a CLOTH bag, securely shut! Thanks for the laugh!
Glad i made you laugh! This hasn’t been a very popular post – thought i was losing my touch!
Color me confused, but should that be Chihuahua food? I am the LAST person who should be pointing out typos, but if it is actually Chiuaua I’m beyond curious what that is.. (seriously! did I mention I’m spelling impaired)
bahahahah you should get a PRIZE for finding that! LOLOLOL! how could spell check NOT have found that!!!! i assumed it would LOLOOLOL!
ConCATulations to Skogitta (u lucky thing u)
And Tamar, your post and accompanying photo brought fond memories and tears to me. My beloved little snowshoe used to do this all the time. It got to where I bought these big plastic vacuum-seal bins at Petco to store dry food in. No more chewed bag corners. ;)
awwwww i’m sorry if i made you sad…..Snowshoe was a lucky kitteh
Oh, and I agree 100% about the title of Jackson Galaxy’s excellent Animal Planet series! But how could you possibly not have read CAT DADDY if you have a copy??? I’d be spending every spare moment reading it!
too much to do not enough time!
I can relate. I have about 5 books on my desk all waiting to be read. Great post!
Oh no!!! We thought Rogue was losing weight for a while (and started to feed her extra) then we figured out that no, she hadn’t lost any weight, it was just that she looked so tiny next to her new, larger, bigger boned, more muscular, fatter brother Max) ….. Needless to say, she’s back on her one scoop diet. And we’ve got a nice leather ottoman blocking the door to the closet with the extra food because they both know how to open doors now.
I should be sleeping way past my bedtime… but this was too riveting and hysterically funny. And shared.
that you like it is the hugest compliment! not to mention it kept you up! thanks! xo
I love My Cat From Hell. Totally want to read his book. ^_^ I agree on the title change – so many times watching, I’ve thought, really, come on, people! I get when someone is baffled, and at least they reached out for help, so that’s a good thing. But then when they act like putting a shelf up to help solve the problem is too much trouble, it’s like… really, did you want this problem solved, or was it just an excuse?
Regarding the dog food, whenever I bring home a new bag of kitty kibbles from the store, if I don’t put it away right away, Yuan will tear it open and start munching – even if he’s still got some in his bowl. Deidre used to do the same thing when I bought a different brand (the bag was more paper-like then. This one is more metallic). And years ago, when I used to buy non-clumping litter in a paper-type bag, she’d tear that open and poop in the bag. Couldn’t be mad – she knew what it was for. LOL
I love My Cat From Hell. Totally want to read his book. ^_^ I agree on
the title change – so many times watching, I’ve thought, really, come
on, people! I get when someone is baffled, and at least they reached
out for help, so that’s a good thing. But then when they act like
putting a shelf up to help solve the problem is too much trouble, it’s
like… really, did you want this problem solved, or was it just an
excuse?
Regarding the dog food, whenever I bring home a new bag of
kitty kibbles from the store, if I don’t put it away right away, Yuan
will tear it open and start munching – even if he’s still got some in
his bowl. Deidre used to do the same thing when I bought a different
brand (the bag was more paper-like then. This one is more metallic).
And years ago, when I used to buy non-clumping litter in a paper-type
bag, she’d tear that open and poop in the bag. Couldn’t be mad – she
knew what it was for. LOL
Sorry this posted twice… I was trying to fix the login situation that I don’t know why it made me anonymous like that and accidentally posted again!
OMG Tamar…. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more!! There is just something irresistible about your complete and utter honesty that makes it so charming. I would love to see a sitcom about you and your life….
you are too sweet – thanks Deb
it’s nice to feel loved!
Ditto!
Now that was a day to go back and try to start over again!