24 Ways Cats Are Better Than (Furless) Children

I have nothing against furless children. In fact I’ve always loved babies and figured I’d have a few by now. But I’d like to take a moment to recognize a few advantages of the furry kind.

I’m sure there are many more, so be sure to leave comments!

24 reasons cats are better than (furless) children.

Cats:

1 – Don’t become teenagers convinced you’ve ruined their lives.

2 – Don’t ask how kitties are made.

3 – Don’t require supervision when they’re in the sand box. In fact, they’d prefer you didn’t.

Petie wishing he could get a little privacy.

4 – Feed themselves.

5 – Bathe themselves.

6 – Don’t practice their drum kit loudly when you are trying to read, watch TV or just think.

7 – Don’t need you to buy them clothes (well, not usually).

Oh dear. (photo from Prin Cat)

8 – Are spayed or neutered by age one (or should be) so you don’t have to worry about teen pregnancies.

9 – Don’t drive drunk or text and drive.

10 – Don’t require therapy later in life because of your sub-par parenting skills.

11 – Don’t need to be chauffeured from rehearsals, play dates, practice, games, and back again.

12 – Don’t talk back. Usually.

13 – Don’t “borrow” your  clothes and jewelry.

14 – Don’t do drugs.

That better be catnip!

15 – Don’t deplete your life savings by going to college.

16 – Don’t throw tantrums in crowded stores.

17 – Don’t wear diapers.

18 – Don’t ask “why?” incessantly.

19 – Come potty trained.

20 – Don’t max out your credit cards.

Good thing Haddie can’t swipe that thing! (this is from when her eyes hadn’t healed yet)

21 – Don’t run up your cell phone bill.

22 – Don’t get allowance.

23 – Are not be embarrassed by your mere existence (that we know of).

and the TOP reason why cats are better than children…..

24 – Cats will never make you feel stupid because you can’t help them with their math homework.

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111 Responses to 24 Ways Cats Are Better Than (Furless) Children

  1. mar says:

    ahahahah!!! Love the math homework one. How did you get that pic of Haddie Girl?

    • I HAVE CAT says:

      I walked in one day and there she was with my credit card! I think i had just dumped my purse out! You can see her eyes were not as good back then. BABY!

  2. Gris says:

    LOL i loved it!!

  3. Bea says:

    Oh I’d love to have furless babies too, they are SO cute and warm and soft and… wait… we’re talking Sphynx cats, right??? Oh HUMAN ones? Nevermind… xD

  4. catsparella says:

    I endorse this list 100%! Cats > Babies..hehe. Petie peeking out from the litter box is too cute! And sweet Haddie! Did you notice any unusual charges from PetSmart on your card that month? :)

  5. Ingrid King says:

    Love this! And purrfect photos to go with it, too. If I were you, I’d take a very close look at my Mastercard statement….

  6. Louiselle Dufresne says:

    Another advantage of having cats is that they won’t come back to your house i a few years and expect you will provide for their family because they can’t do it anymore.

    • I HAVE CAT says:

      This is a GREAT one! LOL! I will need to amend the list with everyone’s great additions! Thanks for visiting and posting!

  7. True except for #12. My Siamese talks back and then some.
    See him and the rest of my fur gang gallivanting in the snow etc. at Cat Saturday today.

  8. PS: just shared this on FB.

  9. lida says:

    Why didn’t somebody tell me 25 years ago and 4 kids later……

  10. Brian says:

    Very true! Except Leo does tend to get mouthy now and again, and Chloe gets mad if I go outside without her. Cats don’t need to be able to use a credit card, they just get to use it for them :)

  11. Rena says:

    All excellent reasons! I’s just like to add that cats forgive you within seconds of accidentally stepping on their tails! If only our kids forgave us so easily!

    • I HAVE CAT says:

      Rena – a GOOD one! So true. I always feel sooo terrible. But I’m still feeling bad and they have moved on! LOL!

  12. Marg says:

    That is so purrfect. Great stuff. Take care.

  13. jmuhj says:

    ADORABLE and oh, so true on all points except…who says they don’t run up the cell bill? My clowder have friends all over the world, and when they can’t get on facebook, it’s all about the Moto ;)
    And yes, Ingrid’s right…;)

  14. christina schmid says:

    This is pure genius!

  15. Yasmine says:

    You and I Tamar, we think alike. Lol!

  16. Jenny says:

    This list is killer – my boyfriend who wasn’t much of a cat lover before we started dating would agree with this 100% percent and said to me when we are in the prescence of a kid, “cats don’t do that!” I transformed him – well, I think Rags did.

    I think you could make a similiar list for cats vs. dogs.

    Thanks for sharing,
    Jenny

  17. Sharon says:

    Love this! All so true!

  18. Carolyn says:

    *grins*
    Also, nobody calls child protection if you leave them alone for the weekend.
    (with food, water and litter tray, of course :)

  19. Anniie says:

    Hahaha.. Loved this! Mostly that cats don’t become teenagers!! God bless kitties :p! Btw, loved that litter box! Never seen one like that.. I would like my cats in here get more privacy.. hehe. :D

  20. Love this and the very reasons why my kitties are my children. :)

  21. Renee says:

    I love this! It is so very true.

  22. bonnie says:

    somehow i think i’m SEVERELY in the minority here. much as i love my cats…..i have enjoyed my two kids — especially the drums though not in my house — and my dogs. and i could probably give you 24 reasons why i prefer all of them to a boyfriend at this stage of my life !! IHC – this was ANOTHER great post — thanks for the laughs!!!

    • I HAVE CAT says:

      Thanks Bonnie! Not saying kids aren’t great too! But must look on the positive side since I don’t have the kids i thought I would by this point in my life!

  23. mine do aswer back!!!!!!!

  24. Anna says:

    Cats purr.

  25. We do lotsa norty thing though! (said boastfully)

  26. As a childless woman with four cats, I love this list. Another good thing about cats (over children) is that they “warm” up the bed for you in the winter.

    I was eyeing your trendy litter box too. Glad to read your review. Very informative. I think I am going to have get one. (Alas, your #20 is only partially true!)

  27. cat says:

    i had to post this on facebook as #24 left me in tears laughing as i had just hung up the phone from my friend who is 3 cats 1 dog and a 16yr boy doing his calc…she cannot help him.
    thanks for the laugh and thanks to cat vs human for the link to this site
    myself i’m 3 cat(s) and one boy (grown) =) no furless ones

    • I HAVE CAT says:

      Welcome cat! Thanks for visiting and taking the time to post a comment! Glad you liked that one! LOVE that your friend was struggling with that exact thing! tehe! Hope you check out some of my older posts! And be sure to sign up for email alerts (and check out our FB page, we have over 11k fans! http://www.facebook.com/ihavecat)
      Tamar (and the kitties!)

  28. kng says:

    where did youget your cat box? I must have it!

  29. meowmeowmans says:

    So, so true! Thank you for the laugh, T. :)

  30. This is fantastic! I have both fur and non-fur children and the non-fur definitely are less maintenance!

  31. C. says:

    hahaha!! Love this!! So funny and SO TRUE!!!

  32. Oh, theese is so true, that’s why my Human only has furkids! Love the credit card photo and “catnip” photo!

  33. Momo says:

    Love this, and the photos!!! That’s why my SS only ever has furkids and is very happy with it.

  34. Neko says:

    This is so true! Finally, someone who agrees with me! Other things in favour of cats:
    After a long day at work, you don’t have to go to their parent-teacher interviews, drive em to “insert sport/instrument lessons here”, then go home and bake cupcakes for their school’s bake sale tomorrow!
    I heard someone mentioning this in the elevator today (describing her hectic night) and thought, I LOVE MY CATS!

  35. Carol Halbert says:

    Purrrrecious!!!!! =^..^=

  36. Rebecca says:

    Unfortunately, Stella HAS helped max out my credit card at the Vet’s office on a few occasions, but I’d do it again and again and again. She is my choice of “child!” LOVE THIS!!!! >^..^<

  37. My cat may not borrow my clothes (to wear) but she certainly WANTS my jewelry… I have the broken necklaces to prove it!

  38. 14. Don’t do drugs (unless you include catnip in that field)

  39. Dinah says:

    Would have loved children but could not imagine my life without my cats. All joy and really no down side. Women I know with children are often heard wishing they didn’t have them but you never hear a cat mum say that !

  40. This list is so true, which only makes it funnier! I’ve been a kitty mama since I was 12 (I started young!) and never looked back or been without ever since. The only downside to being a kitty mama is that our fur babies never learn to clean their own litter boxes, although I’ve heard of cats being toilet trained! meow!

  41. Mungo181 says:

    my cats do drugs and ask “why” all the time!

  42. Anonymous says:

    Super Hurrah! I agree completely! xoxox

  43. Vbc2000 says:

    Can’t wait to share this with my husband! We routinely sing our favorite made up song “Cats are Better than Kids Are”, LOL!

  44. Bazillionpurrs says:

    YES! Cats over kids any day!!!

  45. Angelx1975 says:

    You can leave them alone in the house all day and no one calls DHS. :)

  46. CatCottageSeniors says:

    #4 doesn’t apply – I wish my cats could feed themselves, but they are indoor, and require my thumbs to open cans and add supplements.

  47. Jilian Giles says:

    You don’t find screaming kitties in restaurants. And no one takes their whole family of obnoxious kitties to the store with them! But my kittie, Tai, is so vocal it sounds like he’s complaining all the time! Yep, he talks back, too!!! But I love Tai and Stormi (the lap tumor) so much. They’re our furbabies!!!

  48. Marianne1976 says:

    Awwww what happened to Haddie’s eyes? Glad she’s ok now xxxx

  49. Mandy Porter says:

    I’d fly on a whole plane full of cats rather than on a plane with just one screaming kid!

  50. Jen Smith says:

    Love this! This is exactly what I have been telling people for ages now! Great to discover your site Tamar. :)

    Jen

  51. Jen says:

    This was from our blog a while back.  It’s along the same lines but includes a few similarities.
    Q: What is the difference between a 1 year old kitty & a 1 year old human?A: Not much. The kitty may be a little more potty trained than a human but everything else isthe same.Q: What is the differnce between a 2 year old kitty & a 2 year old human?A: ABSOLUTLY NOTHING!!!Q: What is the differnce between a 3 year old kitty & a 3 year old human?A: A kitty won’t put a PB&J sandwich in a vcr. Other than that, not much.Q: What is the difference between a 4 year kitty & a 4 year old human?A: A human understands what “no no” means and you can put them in time out.Q: At what point does the kitty stop being a toddler? At what point does the Mommy understand they are curtain climbers for life? At what point does Mommy stop loving the similarities – the need for snuggles, the little soft touch on the cheek, the kisses, the tiny sneezes, the little toys, the curiosity, and the belief that Mommy is the greatest thing in the world?A: NEVER!!!!

  52. KF says:

    Funny and cute! :) I agree!

  53. Pingback: 20 Ways Cats Are Like (Furless) Children | I Have Cat

  54. Pat says:

    I’ve had both, cats are by far the easiest to take care of

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