Dinner Take Two…sort of (2 of 3)

Readers, you might recall the last time I saw M___ he was making off with “my” Szechuan broccoli in garlic sauce (with brown rice). Before his great escape we’d made plans for dinner for the coming Sunday at 6pm.

Chinese take out box

Well, Sunday came and at 4pm I received a call from M___; he was running ahead of schedule and would be over in 20 minutes.  I took stock of my un-showered self and a living room where drying laundry hung from every imaginable surface. “Sure thing!” I replied. Then, like a bat out of hell, I stuffed laundry into closets and cabinets and jumped into the shower.

As I was in a frenzy of cleaning I hadn’t the time to forage for food and by 4pm was subsisting on a banana and cup of coffee. I’d literally been massaging my belly in an effort to trick it into thinking a meal was coming soon.

M___ arrived looking calm and dapper in a light grey pressed shirt. I pushed my bangs off my face and ushered him into the living room, kicking a nip toy under the coffee table on the way. Then I asked him if he was hungry.

“Yeh, but I hate paying for food when I have so much at home,” he said.  “But what do you want to do?”

Digging the heel of my hand into my stomach in an effort to suppress the growling  sound I said, “Well, it’s hard to eat without spending money.”

He began back peddling, “I just mean I don’t want to spend a lot of money.”

Judging from the reaction to my last post, many of you would now be ushering M___ into a cab while stopping off at the corner pizza joint for a slice. But consider this:  M___ was a tall, good-looking guy with a visibly rocking body. A hot-blooded male in my living room!  How could I just give him the boot?

But why was it that all I could think of was food?

Food has always been an important part of life. When friends and I plan to get hang out, we first decide what we feel like eating. Then the process of negotiating where to meet begins. It might be a new place we’ve wanted to check out or an old standby where we know the perfect spicy margarita (fresh lime, lots of salt) and guacamole awaits us.

My friends and I use food to explore the city. I recall one of the first times I ventured into Brooklyn was the summer Nan and I researched the “best of” BBQ, Lemonade and burgers in Fort Greene.

When I announced to my friends I would no longer be eating meat, a multitude of my carnivore buddies were distraught. Was it the end of enjoying good meals together?  Would the foundation of our friendship be challenged? Thankfully we were able to get past it and our friendships survived. But it was dicey there for a while.

best lobster roll new york

Best lobster roll ever at Red Hook Lobster Pound (clearly I haven’t made it to full vegetarianism yet)

Didn’t it make sense that I wanted in a boyfriend the same thing I wanted in my friends? Someone to partake in and appreciate the genius of white corn ravioli with a drizzle of truffle oil?  A partner with whom to brave the hinterlands of Brooklyn on a quest for the best lobster roll.

Or should I just face the fact that if I continued see M____ I’d have to start eating before our dates?

Back in the apartment I decided the time had come for M____ to show his true colors.  I handed him my laptop and suggested he find a place for dinner while I put laundry in the dryer.  In the elevator I did some deep breathing, and while doing so, realized my pants felt baggy. My stomach did look a bit concave.

I prayed my date came up with a brilliant dinner option. For his sake and mine.

To be continued….

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  • well now that’s not fair….you really didn’t tell us much and just left us hanging…so unfair. lol

    • I HAVE CAT

      I hope you aren’t TOO mad at me 🙂
      One more installment left – I think you will like it – please stay with us!

  • Lisa

    Good looking, Rocking Body isn’t going to do you any good if you have no energy to enjoy it. Nothing kills romance, hot sex or even a great make out session than you passing out or doubling over in pain due to hunger. It’s not a turn on hon. Ditch the dud!!!

    • I HAVE CAT

      LOL! Love it. So true – especially for me b/c food IS so important! I wouldnt’ be ABLE to focus on making out!

  • Kira

    What is with this manorexic ?? Fingers crossed this was all a ploy and you return from your laundry with a lovely dinner awaiting you…

    • I HAVE CAT

      Stay tuned! Next and LAST installment forthcoming! 🙂
      I STILL OWE YOU A CALL/EMAIL. Can you take a day off? I have LOTS of vacation days and we could do a road trip to TABBY’s PLACE!

  • What’s up with him not able to keep agreed schedules? He seems to be either early or late, and by a lot. Unless there is a compelling reason, this kind of behavior usually indicates that he doesn’t respect YOUR time. I suppose this is consistent with him not caring for your food needs. Maybe he has asperger syndrome.

    • I HAVE CAT

      OMG i love your diagnosis Jennifer! LOL!

  • aargh! left hanging with stomachs rumbling

    • I HAVE CAT

      I KNOW! the WORST!!

  • Oh come on!! You can’t string this out to a third installment for us to watch voyeristiclly while you kick his ass to the kerb???

    Btw, It hasn’t excaped my notice that you’ve forgiven all his unforgivables, purely because he has a hot body!!! 🙂 Only men are allowed to do that!

    • I HAVE CAT

      haha! thanks for sticking with me! lovely to hear from you. i promise only one more installment left…i hope you like it! 🙂

  • Maria G

    He’s cheap and allergic to cats. Why do you continue to see this guy? *shakes head*

    • I HAVE CAT

      oh Maria i know it’s just that it’s SO hard to meet single guys in NYC…especially ones with ANY potential so of course we give them TOO many tries – be patient with me and have faith!

  • I am controlling myself. This guy is an A—–E with a capital “A”

    “Running ahead of schedule” on a Sunday? You are something to be “scheduled” in????

    He has “lots of food at home?” A single guy with “lots of food at home?”

    Something is not computing. Are you sure this guy isn’t married????

    Great looking guy with a rocking hard body (or whatever the wording was?) He may be great looking on the outside but at this point his insides certainly aren’t matching up and your “insides” are starving for food….your “insides” will be starving for affection and consideration if you stay with this jerk.

    We all get old…..there are not so great looking people who become beyond gorgeous or handsome because their heart/soul is incredible, and great looking ones who become ugly…..I am afraid you found a major FROG who is not your PRINCE.

    • I HAVE CAT

      It’s not so much his hot bod that keeps me trying to give him chances, it’s honestly the fact that i am in my late 30s and other people (and I) question if ladies my age are TOO picky, too self-entitled etc. So we have to be REALLY Sure that the guy isn’t worth it. Rather than “jumping to judgement” or being too picky!

      • Valesa

        I do not think you’re jumping to judgement or being too picky, if you dumped this guy, I would think you’re respecting yourself and demanding other people {him} to do likewise.

      • There is no such thing as being too picky, and there are worse things than being a fabulously single woman like you, especially living in the most fabulous city in the entire world, like you do.

        I’m with Caren – this guy is a major frog. In fact, he gives frogs a bad name 🙂

        • I HAVE CAT

          omg Ingrid you had me seriously laughing out loud when I read your comment “he gives frogs a bad name!”. LOVE IT!

  • Fergus (Golden Retriever) Corrie

    Total dud. We had this discussion already IHC and you have given me even more evidence this man is a selfish, stingy, narcissistic ARSE. PLEASE DITCH HIM… or I will have to ditch your blog (if it’s about him). Mummy won’t stand for me growling, hackles up, at the computer.

    • I HAVE CAT

      okay, there is only ONE more installment left but i’m SURE you and your mommy will like it okay? PLEASE don’t leave us 🙂

  • Amy

    Dump this fool. You deserve a man who would want to spend money on you. And if I recall isn’t he the man who claims he is allergic to cats?

    • I HAVE CAT

      I agree Amy, it’s just that as a single late 30-something year old it’s not easy to balance the fine line between being TOO “picky” and being a pushover!

      • Laura

        Hi, I’m a huge fan of your cat page. I’m a single late 30 something year old, too, so I understand your concerns, and I know it’s slim pickin’s out there, but I have to agree with Amy! And if he is this way now after you just met him, imagine what he would be like after he’s all settled in and the newness wears off! Just saying!

        • I HAVE CAT

          I know right? He is supposed to be on their best behavior!! Thanks for your readership and support Laura! Stay tuned! Hope to have the continuation up by Monday if possible!

  • i have to agree with Caren — in fact had the same discussion with my 19-year-old daughter. those hot guys that treat you like crap versus the not so hot guys that treat you like a princess. this jerk is playing you — lose him — he just isn’t worth any of this.

    • I HAVE CAT

      Trust me it’s NOT about the looks. It’s just that when someone is ‘subtly’ lame (versus outright being a jerk) women – especially those my cage – question ourselves. When I was younger I would have kicked him to the curb IMMEDIATELY. But we hear from society that we are too picky and so we try to give people extra chances…benefits of the doubt etc…..

  • Valesa

    Sweetheart, he’s married! That’s why he can’t keep schedules, that’s why he can’t spend $ on you. He gets out of the house whenever he gets the chance and his wife controls his wallet. Ask to meet at his place next time.

    • I HAVE CAT

      Interesting theory Valesa…..I never think of these things!

      • Valesa

        And any guy that can’t first feed you, does not deserve your kiss! I have not had a first date that did not include dinner, since high school! I’m not prissy or materialistic, just believe in not selling myself short. You deserve better.

        • I HAVE CAT

          I like your style!

    • amen….

      I said the same thing above…..sounds married to me as well…..

      single guys rarely “schedule” someone in or have fridges full of food…

      They also usually are somewhat more punctual.

      I agree with someone above who mentioned respecting yourself. I have been where you are so I DO feel your confusion/pain etc…I was single til my early 40s….took me a long time to learn that a guy would only treat me as well as I treat myself.

      • I HAVE CAT

        Thanks Caren, for all your advice and support! Working on the final post this weekend – hope to have it up by Monday!

  • IHC I don’t know how you can be so unsure of yourself now as compared to when you were younger. There is nothing wrong with being picky, not in this day and age — sell yourself short and i can give you a prime example of what you’re stuck with — lol — personal experience taught me a lot 🙂 and i think Valesa is definitely on to something….and what DID the cats think of this bozo?

    • I HAVE CAT

      I blame the cats – they REALLY should have peed in his shoes or something. They are letting me down! 🙂

  • Mark

    Just keep hot dogs on hand at all times and you can kill 2 birds with one stone! Rich guys with hot bodies are a much better match for you. Now back to my pet Giraffe! Mooohahahahaaaa

    • I HAVE CAT

      you are terrible! ; 0

  • I’d have invited him to cook dinner–he’s already spent the money, and you can find out more about a person’s food and eating preferences by seeing what they have in their fridge and what they cook…or perhaps he was waiting for financial negotiations to begin: dutch treat? his treat? your treat if you pursued eating out? Can’t wait for the next installment.

    • I HAVE CAT

      He lives so far away! Maybe he could bring the ingredients to my place….True i’m sure one’s fridge can be very revealing..I’m afraid to think what mine “says”!

  • Uggghhhh. NO! Showing up early is even MORE disrespectful than being late. He’s already shown you everything you need to know about him.

    • I HAVE CAT

      I know RIGHT?! not allowed! Who raised him!

  • mponemon

    Dahling, So far I am right? (last Post) I am on the edge of my computer chair waiting to find out the final installment. Perhaps he was hoping you would wine and dine him. i told you to keep those Mounds bars handy. LOL Well just remember a guy is like a bus miss one there another one coming right behind.
    Love and Knishes,
    M
    Oh my!!!! that lobster roll hmmmmmmm

    • I HAVE CAT

      M, you always have the best words of wisdom 🙂
      I highly recommend you go to the LOBSTER POUND and pick up one of those rolls – YUM!

  • I had started formulating a comment as I was reading, and then got totally distracted by the picture of the lobster roll! Haha!

    I’m all for saving money by eating at home, but you guys just started going out and already he’s more worried about spending a little money on dinner than you and your needs? If he’s like that now when he’s supposed to be on his best behavior, what’s he going to be like when he really gets comfortable in the relationship??

    My comment from the first post still stands – allergic to cats + depriving you of food = give him the boot! You deserve better!! <3

    • I HAVE CAT

      We are cut of the same cloth!! Love that you got distracted by the lobster roll – totally understandable!
      Seriously, what happened to COURTING?! Isn’t this when you show your GOOD side?!

  • This guy gives cheap, macho creeps a bad name…

    “I’ll let you know when to make yourself available, woman, and I don’t like waiting. Or spending money on you. Or being considerate of you. Or cats. ”

    There are worse things than being alone. Settling for a creep is one – I’ve seen too much of that, as you probably have too, if you think about it.

    Sounds like his “rockin’ hard body” is centered between his ears – perhaps his wife has charge of the rest…

    • I HAVE CAT

      I agree – alone and happy is better than together and unhappy!

  • jmuhj

    “Frog”? More like “TOAD”! My dad used to say, “pretty is as pretty does”, and this guy definitely doesn’t even register on the radar. Put the boot to his hard@$$ and do yourself a BIG favor!

    • I HAVE CAT

      Good advice 🙂

  • YOU deserve better, girl!! This story makes me sad 🙁 There is a total prince out there for you and it isn’t this guy.

    Hold out for a happy ending, Princess!

    • I HAVE CAT

      Thanks Angie! I hope so!

  • We also think you can find someone else. Can’t wait to hear the next installment. Take care and do be careful.

    • I HAVE CAT

      Thanks Marg 🙂

  • OK am annoyed that he showed up early. Also annoyed that, even though he doesn’t want to spend money on food when he has some at home, he should have AT LEAST INVITED YOU OVER TO COOK YOU DINNER.

    Now that is all out of my system, men are big weirdos. There could be all kinds of odd reasons for his behavior other than cheapness (although that’s a doozy) so I’ll wait for your final installment. Sigh.

    He better come up with something good or I’m booting his ass out the door.

    xo

    • I HAVE CAT

      I think maybe he was raised by wolves.

  • Hazel’s Meowmy (Kim)

    Hi, IHC — First time commenter here! I adore your blog and all your cat-related posts. But I just HAD to chime in here: this guy is not a good guy! I agree with everyone else’s comments above who think he’s a jerk (he is). I’d rather be alone forever than be treated with anything less than respect.
    The fact that an attorney is crabbing about spending money on a DATE is so very bizarre to me! Unless he is married (as someone above theorized) or a drug-user, then he should be at least flush enough to buy a gal dinner! OY VEY. He makes me so mad, in a virtual sense, and I’ll never meet him. Ugh!
    You are way better than that!! You deserve excellence!! And also you deserve someone who is not always late or early… and who is always focused on his thin wallet.
    Take care!
    🙂
    –Kim

    • I HAVE CAT

      Hi Kim! Thanks so much for reading I HAVE CAT! And, thanks for finally commenting! I know I know, I don’t disagree with you..my latest hypothesis is that he was raised by wolves. Not that it excuses anything mind you!
      Thanks again for reading and commenting Kim!

  • mar

    TAMAR!!!! a double cliff hanger??

    • I HAVE CAT

      sorry! I blame my editor 🙂

  • Jennifer

    Dump him and go to John’s on Bleeker!

    • I HAVE CAT

      good idea…haven’t been there in a long while……

  • Eli

    Where’s the second part please please please!!!!!

    • I HAVE CAT

      Did you read part 1?? Part 3 coming soon I promise-trying for Monday!

  • Catstarella said what I was thinking: the first few dates most people are (or should be) on their best behavior trying to impress each other. If this jerk is treating you like this now–well, like I said in my last comment, LOL, RUN–don’t walk–in the opposite direction! This can’t be good… but I am anxious to see what happens next…

    • I HAVE CAT

      you are all reinforcing my instincts that’s for sure! look out for the LAST installment..should be up by tomorrow! Thanks so much for visiting and taking the time to post – we are so happy to have you!

  • Cat Ninja

    i know the suspense is killing everyone. and i don’t want to give away what’s about to happen in the third installment because i know how this all ends. but i am going to drop two hints to build the suspense further. the first: you’ll see food items being used in exotics ways previously unimagined. the second: menage a trois.

    • I HAVE CAT

      Oh my….my story might pale in comparison 🙂

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  • Hopefully your third instalment won’t be that you returned to find your laptop stolen, fridge empty, and M___ long gone 🙁

    • I HAVE CAT

      I think Petie was on high alert for that very thing! 🙂