They Walk Among Us

Today’s post is written by a colleague of mine who has the distinct pleasure of sitting next to me at work. Patrick’s a single 30-something year old living in NYC – without cats (for now).


When I first met Tamar she seemed like a normal NYC single chick.  She was funny, outgoing and showed no signs of being anything other than the new girl at work with a funny name.  But little-by-little I began noticing things that seemed out of place.  The constant presence of a lint roller.  Obsessing over what appeared to be a blog (but it was tough to tell from just glancing at her screen on occasion). Then, the part about being a vegetarian came out and it prompted the larger discussion.

covered in cat hair Tamar Arslanian

Tamar attempting to remove any cat evidence before a client meeting

All along this seemingly normal woman had been quietly hiding her other life…the one that she shares with her 2 (sometimes 3 or even 4) cats.

And if that wasn’t interesting enough, given we all know the stigma cat ladies carry (especially single ones) she went on to quietly share with us the URL for her blog.  You can imagine my thought.  “Oh my god, they just hired a cat lady!”

Now this is where it all gets intriguing because despite the preponderance of evidence, she claims very adamantly that she is not a “cat lady” and is a normal woman that simply loves her cats.  She will tell you her blog is not cat-focused, but that the cats are used as a story-telling vehicle. She will tell you she is not obsessed with the independent little animals, shes just a nurturing person.

Being the son of a self admitting cat woman I knew better from the start but allowed her to try and convince us otherwise. Then came the pet blogging convention and the gallery showing with pieces of art made entirely from recycled pet food cans.  And the final straw, an article about her in

Now from the outset you never would expect such things from Tamar.

She doesn’t dress in cat themed clothes (yet).  She’s well dressed, well kept (relatively cat-free hair) and attractive.  She doesn’t pronounce perfect, purrrrfect and she never meows…well almost never.  She doesn’t have many of the qualities you would expect from any self respecting cat lady.  Maybe she really is just like most of us and has found a balance between cat loving and “normal” living.

But alas, if you believe that you truly don’t understand her.  Despite her beliefs (and I truly believe she thinks this), she is not a normal person that happens to love cats. She is a cat woman disguised as a normal person and you know what, it makes me wonder how many more of her are out there fooling the unsuspecting men of this city.

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  • That was a great story. She happens to be all of the above, but she’s still a good catch for any single guy out there. Must like or tolerate cats tho.

    • Ihavecat

      Awwwww Thanks Mario! x0

  • “Luv me, luv my cat(s)!” 😉

    • Ihavecat

      🙂 🙂

  • dainty

    That was an entertaining read. How did you convince him to guest blog?

    • Ihavecat

      He came up with the concept that I’m a cat lady in disguise so thought he should write it – anway, he seemed to be playing too many video games and I thought this would be more productive 🙂

  • i loved this story…it made my giggle a couple of times…there are more ladies out there in ny like that lol!

    • Ihavecat

      Glad you liked it! clearly i’m not doing a very good job of disguising myself! LOL!

  • I love this! Keep up your work dispelling myths!

    • Ihavecat

      Thanks! I’m not sure that based on Patrick’s observations I’m doing too good a job dispelling !LOL

  • Cool article! Though I have never understood all the fuss over being a cat lady… we are all (if we are the least bit interesting as people) intensely passionate about something. What’s the difference between being a sports fanatic or a shoe-a-holic or a cat lady, really?

    • Ihavecat

      I hear you – especially since cats are so independant, you would think a guy would want a woman who doesn’t need constent reinforcement/agreement!

  • Great story!

    You just never know…..

  • Too funny! Now we know you’re really trying to cover up! When I was your age…I was still trying to ignore my tendencies but began painting portraits of my cats…and all was lost. Moral of the story: just love your cats but don’t start making art out of them! You’re an NYC girl anyway, you’re not likely to slip as fast as the rest of us.

    • Ihavecat

      Hysterical Bernadette! Thanks for reading and posting – loving your posts. You are being so good about consistent blogging! 🙂

  • Great article, I know the Cat Lady stigma even though like you I do not think I am a full blown Cat Lady – although my cat does have his own blog, maybe I need to get out more!

    • Ihavecat

      LOL! love it! thanks for visiting Manda, and for taking the time to leave a comment! means a lot thanks !Hope you poke around the blog and check out some of my older posts too! gooo cat ladies!perhaps we can have a subversive movement and takeover! they won’t know what hit them! LOL

  • OldCatsRule

    Love this post! Girl, you are a pioneer when it comes to smashing the stereotype of a cat lady.

    P.S.: The cat man for you is out there — he just needs someone to tell me it’s OK to like (or at least tolerate) cats.

    • Ihavecat

      Thanks Gina! You are the bestest ever! Thanks always for the readership, support and comments.

  • How does the old saying go? You can fool all of the people some of the time and you can fool some of the people all the time? Me thinks you’ve been made by your new colleague…. 🙂

    • Ihavecat

      So so true Ingrid! LOL

  • Damun

    Great story! I wonder what he wold write about me? A cat loving man. I too share my life with two permanent cats and sometimes foster up to another three. I meow and hiss, (it makes people laugh), and yes – I Love All Cats!

  • Tamar, your secret is safe with me.
    (I bet your coworker doesn’t know what you were doing in Cincinnati the other weekend. Shhhh…)

  • jmuhj

    Oh, 30-something male coworker, little do you know. Actually, they not only walk among you, they are TAKING OVER. 😉

    • Ihavecat

      so so true!

  • Judith McLeod

    Loved the story.

    Although I do not understand the stigma of being a crazy cat lady. I love the name and have it tattoo’d on my right ankle in Kanjii. Love, Love, Love all ten of my cats – all of them rescues.

    Couldn’t imagine a life without cats. Wouldn’t be worth living. lol!!

    • Ihavecat

      Wow good for you! Amazing! just saw your email address – perfect! 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment! Hope to see you again soon and be sure to sign up for email alerts!

  • This made us all laugh! Meowm fits right in with you Tamar!

    • Ihavecat

      lol! yayayayay cat ladies (in cognito!).

  • Tamar, that’s hilarious!

    • Ihavecat

      Glad you enjoyed it!

  • Great little story, very funny! Being from NYC myself, I feel that you are like many New Yorkers – keep being a cat lady.

    • Ihavecat

      So glad you stopped by and thank for the encouragement!

  • hahah I loved the story. It was so funny and it totally made my day :).

    I don’t have any cat themed clothes either. I think the old stereotype of cat ladies needs to retire.

    • Ihavecat

      I agree! Thank for commenting! Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂

  • As an “all my life” cat lover (and dogs) I so enjoyed the blog post. It took me two great female black and white cats – both were rescues – and one over 20 pound, orange, male tabby cat to win my husband over. He will now grudgingly confess to liking cats.

  • An’ your poin’ ees…?

    • Ihavecat

      what you mean?

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  • Laurel Court

    Hmmm … well Tamar I think I might beat you hands down with regards to to the cat lady tag. Firstly I am definitely older than you – 47 and single, never married so I guess I’m a spinster?? I have four cats and would have more if I knew it wouldn’t upset the furkids I already have. I have cat paraphanelia (sp?) all over my apartment including sugar bowl! I can’t got past anything ‘cat’ without wanted to buy it! I do have cat Tshirts but in my defence they are shelter related .. oh hang on I do have lots of cats pajamas and a couple of doona/duvet cat covers (in fact 3!) What else .. I sign my cats names on the cards of my other cat loving friends; my mom gets a Christmas gift from her grand cats; my cats get Purrday presents and I have my cats names on my answering machine.
    I’m actually admit to people I’m a crazy cat lady and I’m darn proud of it too 🙂

    • Ihavecat

      I have decided that Cat Goddess should be the new term for woman with cats? What do you think of that one?! I must admit I do sigh my cat’s name to my holiday cats (in fact they are IN my holiday cards ! but I’m not a fan of cat things (but I’m not a huge fan of knick-knacks of any variety to be honest!).
      Thanks so much for being such a great I HAVE CAT supporter both on facebook and the blog! 🙂

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  • This is such a great post! I can’t imagine not having my cats (both indoor and outdoor). I found my catman…you’ll find yours!

    • I HAVE CAT

      Thanks so much for stopping by and for taking the time to post a comment! I Just noticed your most recent blgo post and cannot wait to read it! Nice to “meet” yoU!

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  • Sandasfiberworks

    God, I love cats. Alas am allergic. Gerbils are hypallergenic well….we love them:))