Felines and Valentines

As some of you recall I made two New Year’s resolutions this year, reasoning that posting them in the blog sphere I’d somehow be held accountable. While I think I’ve been better at resolution A) talking to people on the phone instead of relying on purely electronic communication, I’ll admit I’ve put little effort toward resolution B) meeting a mancat of the 2-legged variety.

So in honor of Valentine’s Day I decided to begin strategizing.

Felines and Valentines

How to begin?  The few couples I know in NYC moved here together as husband and wife, knew each other from college, or met in their early Twenties at places with names like “Turtle Bay” and “Sutton Place” – essentially glorified keg parties. I was never a kegger girl in college, favoring instead wine-laden evenings with my musician or acting friends, discussing the meaning of life, arguing about Marxist theory (of which I had not a clue) or something equally “deep.”  So I was never drawn to those types of bars when I moved to the city.

I’ve tried Match.com and eHarmoney but my friends and I have noticed that after hitting the thirty-five year old mark, suitors fell into one of two camps.  Twenty year olds looking for a Mrs. Robinson (Stifler’s mom if you were born in the ‘80s) or men over fifty in the hinterlands of New Jersey or New York State.

younger men and older women dating

Now mind you I’m not expecting perfection and I’d actually prefer a guy who’s been married (understanding they may come with a kid or two).  But as a young-looking thirty-nine year old I’d prefer someone closer to my age than that of my parents.

For a brief period I was taken with the idea of using a matchmaker and with the advice of an Italian friend’s mother fresh in my head – “It’s as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor one”- filled out the application for “Millionaire Matchmaker” complete with professional head-shots.  My plans were waylaid however, when I ended up meeting and dating Brooklyn-boy-who-lives-near-G-train-and-owns-nine-bikes (which stay in the master bedroom while he sleeps on a pull-out).Advice columns, friends and even therapists suggested taking classes or volunteering as ways to meet men with common interests.  So I had to ask myself, what do I enjoy doing? I enjoy:

  • my cats
  • eating out
  • drinking wine
  • writing my blog
  • staying in watching news magazines and Discovery Health

I took a wine tasting class – all single women.  NYC creative writing course – all single women.  I even volunteered through an Armenian organization and found myself painting walls in the basement of an old age home in Queens with a gaggle of very sweet 20yr old girls and a few token men of the same age.

Meeting only women and gay men when taking a writing course or wine tasting

As someone whose job is to market products, I wasn’t very strategic in selling myself.  I forgot the first rule – be targeted. Be where your target will be. Okay, what other things do I like that men like?  Since my cats have opened me to the wonders of animals at large (see “Cats, the Gateway Drug”) and as a recent pit-bull puppy rescuer (more on that another time) meeting fellow-pet lovers made sense.  I googled “online dating for pet lovers” and was surprised to see how many results it turned up.

The first site “Animal People Personals: Pets Bring People Closer did not instill confidence. The site itself has what I can only describe as a 70s aesthetic complete with olive and rust accents, parrots on the sidebar, and a woman sporting a middle part on the home page (to say nothing of the floating kitten).Online dating for animal lovers

Cautioning myself not to be superficial, I persevered and hit the “about us” page. When dating one should never judge a book by its cover right? (Then again, this was a dating site? Shouldn’t they be putting their best foot forward?) The page loaded. I had no words. Their “Board of Directors” consisted of 2 dogs and 2 cats.  Blue, a cat, was “President and MEOW Director of All Things She Wants to be Director Of.” Hmm, dangling participle aside, who would elect a cat as the “Director of Love”? Even I would have gone dog on that.

Animal People Personals

This is all well-and-good for a pet store or a blog, but for a dating site? Not so much.  Since my first visit to the site, a notice has been posted announcing a new partnership with Match.com.   I predict several cats and dogs will soon be finding themselves jobless.

Next up “Date my Pet: Date Me Date My Pet.” Though the unfortunate name suggests an online dating site for those into bestiality, do not fear.  This website employs “pet-as-foil.” You can choose to look for dates for yourself or find a “date for your pet”.  Thinking this could be tricky for the cat owner or for those with animals of different species and adds an unnecessary layer of complexity.

Say a guy tells you his pet wants to go on a date with your pet. Does he like you or does he really just want someone to walk his dog with? And what if said dog is on a rebound? How easily both you and your dog’s hopes could be dashed.  If you own a cat can you really have a pet date with a dog owner? The system seems flawed. They even ask you what your pet is looking for in a mate…hmm…

Online dating for animal lovers and their pets
Some guys only had pictures of their pets and neglected to include one of themselves. A certain gentleman –I kid you not – had pet squirrels.  I think it’s lovely that he rescued them and nursed them to health, but are you sure that’s the first thing you want women to know about you? My favorite I must say was a guy who posted a photo of a roach he’d named “Shelly”. Clearly he didn’t have a real pet, but I appreciated his sense of humor. Though not sure I want to go to someone’s home knowing it’s roach-infested. Would you?
roach as a pet

So far the animal lover niche dating wasn’t going as well as I’d hoped. Perhaps some pets were more match-making friendly. I mean did dog-lovers really need a site? Just take your dog out for walk or to the dog run and viola!  While other animals – squirrels and roaches included – are best not advertised. Maybe I was casting the pet-net too wide.  After all I’ve long said  the man who loves cats is a unique breed – confident in himself and his sexuality without the need to prove it to the world.   Join me next time when I check out  “Purrsonals: Where Cat Lovers Greet and Meet.

In the meantime, looks like this Valentine’s Day will be spent with friends, family and cats. Hey, it could be worse.

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  • Happy Valentine’s Day! My kitties are sending their love to your kitties. Lots of LOVE from Love Meow :).

    • Ihavecat

      Thank you! Same to you! 🙂 T, Kip and Petie!

  • Happy Valentines Day!!

    I luv the cat with heart on his back!

    The Katie Kats Gang

    • Ihavecat

      thank you! glad you stopped by! have a happy vday!

  • Happy Valentine’s Day to you!!!

    • Ihavecat

      thank you BRIAN! same to you!

  • Happy V Day! Luffed your article. 🙂

    • Ihavecat

      thank you thank you Toby and Leia! Have a wonderful day!

  • We can’t wait for the next episode. If the cat-site doesn’t work, maybe a sportsfan is the answer (you can find them in every stadium near you). We like watching soccer with Photoguy, except when he starts shouting when a goal is scored. So someone who favors a really bad team would be perfect for cats.

    Meanwhile happy Valentine’s Day.

    • Ihavecat

      Very good advice! I will work on that! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  • marie

    OMG, I’m having the same problem, now that I’m old. I too don’t want to date someone who looks like, or older than, my dad. it’s hard out there!

    But you will appreciate this–One time I dated a guy for a few weeks who never had anything to talk about, so since all our conversations were one-sided I decided to talk about my cats since they were endlessly fascinating. I had to break up with him when he asked me to tweeze his back hair. ANYWAY, he took out a personal ad that said “NO CAT LOVERS.” HA HA!!

    • Ihavecat

      LOL i love that you decided to delve into the fab world of kitties! How hideous that he wanted you to tweeze his back hair! can’t he pay people for that?!

  • Happy Valentine’s day to you. Love the valentine kitty. Dating is no fun that is sure. yesterday the woman in the booth next us at dinner seemed to be having a lovery dinner when her boyfriend left to go to the bathroom and never came back and left her with the check. I felt so bad for her. Good things will come to you, I know its easier said than done but be patient the best is yet to be. Have a great week!

    • Ihavecat

      Oh no! how terrible for that lady! I really do not understand people most of the time (esp men!). Trying to keep the faith but also know there are no guarantees in life!
      thanks for stopping by and taking the time to cmment!

  • Christy

    Hi! Thanks for making me smile on V-day!! What a great story. I had a family reunion…good times. Crash sends her love and happy valentines!

    • Ihavecat

      Thanks for stopping by Christy! Glad i could make you chuckle at least! Kip and Petie say hi to Crasha nd NYC (and I ) miss you loads!

  • Fin

    Happy Valentines Day! This sites look a little scary…

    • Ihavecat

      Which one Fin? Or all of them? LOL

  • Sharon

    Happy Valentine’s day, my friend! Great post!

    • Ihavecat

      thanks as always my friend, for the support! hope you got my vday message! x0

  • Hi Kip and Petie!

    This is Jackie, one of the Love Meow kitties. My staff asked me to check out your blog, so here I am. I love your pictures. You guys look super fun. Can we be friends?

    Meow, Jackie.

    • Ihavecat

      Thank you for visiting Jackie! I’m sure Petie and Kip would LOVE being friends with a lovely girlcat! 🙂

  • Great post! We are still giggling about the cat and dog on the board of directors of that dating site.

    • Ihavecat

      I know right?! Thanks so much for visiting my site and for taking the time out to comment! Hope you come back soon!
      If you would like to get updates when a new post is made, sigh up for the email alerts (upper right hand column of my site!).
      T, Petie and Kip!

  • Sounds like it was a great day. Cats are always the best dates anyway. Perfect cuddlers and they never complain (that much, anyway…). 🙂

    • Ihavecat

      LOL, exactly not “that much” they are probably wishing they could express themselves to me in English LOL!

  • Oh Valentines Day. Glogirly says it’s over-rated. Gloman calls it a fake Hallmark holiday. Guess that means no heart shaped tuna for me!

    I hope yours was better than mine!
    Still hoping for heart shaped tuna,
    (Glogirly’s Cat)

    • Ihavecat

      No heart-shaped tuna! Terrible….so sorry…but i agree…it’s over-rated. Isn’t it better to be loved just because, not b/c someone says so (and only for a day?!).

  • Dear friend,

    I found alot very helpful articels in here.

    Thanks for your sharing and keep posting.

    Moderator of rabies-ls.com

    • Ihavecat

      Thanks for much for taking the time to visit and commenting! I will be sure to check out your blog as well. Hope you visit again (you can sign up for email alerts as well)

  • I like this post. I am a huge dog lover and like reading about animals in general too. I’m gonna RSS.

    • Ihavecat

      Thanks Emmy! Hope you check out some of the older posts too! Can’t wait to check out your blog.

  • Stopping by from Pet Blogger Support! Kitty with heart… Purrrrfect match!

    • Ihavecat

      Thanks Lookie Lou! Hope you come back and read some of the older posts too!

  • Yep, that’s me, 2nd from the left (Dolly, Me, Gracie & Zoe).

    • Ihavecat

      awww Brian, you are THE cutest!

  • Haaaaaaaa! A roach named “Shelly”. Funny! The owner of Shelly is either really cool or really nerdy. You know what I mean? Guys like that are either naturally funny, or trying too hard. Fine line.

    I’m a young looking 39, too, who is constantly flabbergasted at how hard it is to meet men. Well, I do have one at the moment, but believe me, he’s a miracle. I figured that it’d be easier in a city like yours with higher concentration of people than mine, but I guess it’s not!

    We have similar interests, namely wine and the Discovery channel and our pets. You crack me up! I’m glad I found your blog. 🙂

    • Ihavecat

      I know right? I should contact him – that could be an entire blog post in and of itself!

      Thanks so much for visiting – I related to your blog b/c of our age and that we are “older” but don’t feel it! I can’t believe you have a daughter!! She’s all grown up and i can’t imagine having a daughter that old! You guys DO look like sisters (i’m sure she hates that and you love it right?!).

      It’s SOOOO hard to find single eligible guys in NYC sadly…..sigh…..’

      Thanks so much for visiting and taking the time to pose!

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  • Anonymous

    What about: lovemelovemypets.com?

    • Hmmm sight looks like DATE MY PET….maybe they just came up with a better branding device? I will check it out – thanks! 

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