They said if I could keep him restrained for five minutes that should do it. Who were they kidding?
Two seconds in and my right bicep had already endured multiple lacerations. I was convinced my left eye was in imminent danger. I should have put a shirt on before attempting this. In fact, safety goggles were probably in order. How could an otherwise docile 8 year-old be so strong?
Four seconds in and I wasn’t sure how much longer I would last. This is what I get for skipping Total Body, I thought to myself.
It must have been around the seven second mark that the absurdity of it all hit me: 10pm on a Friday night, a scantily-clad 38 year-old woman works up a sweat in her living room and — here’s the killer — without a single man in sight. Just a pissed off, unwieldy cat whose back paw required a vet-prescribed blue Epsom Salt soak.
This was not the life I’d expected. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not unhappy with my life. But I never imagined that at this juncture of my life, I’d be trying to give a cat a foot soak. And the ungrateful cat wasn’t having any of it. I actually think it would have been easier to give him a facial and deep tissue massage.
On the outside looking in, I seem normal. You’d never know. You wouldn’t peg me as “that crazy cat lady”. I do my best to keep my clothes hair-free and work hard to not talk incessantly about the critters (unless, of course, the listener is “one of us”.). I take pride in the fact that my dry-cleaner doesn’t know I own a cat.
I am all too aware of the stigma, the stereotypes. I also know I’m not alone.
I know you’re out there. In studio apartments on the Lower East Side, a one-bedroom pied-à-terre in Murray Hill, in Upper East Side townhouses and Tribeca lofts. You too soak paws, scoop litter, brush fur, trim claws, buy lint rollers by the case, and kneel to coax reticent kitties out from underneath sofas.
I’m not ashamed to say I do these things. I’m not ashamed to say: Yes, I have cat (s).
The image of a scantily clad women (age doesn’t matter) always gets to me…
Don’t sweat my lovely you will never be a stereotypical cat lady.
Love and Knishes,
M
Love your blog already
Nicely done, my friend.
Thank you Sharon my dear friend! I only just realized I had NEVER replied to this comment – shame on me! I was such a newbie back then in August! LOL
i <3 your entry…I even laughed out a few times….
Of course you and I both know that I am in deep as well…
CCL Unite!
my bad for never having replied to your comment! I was new then and didn’t realize the importance of it! I hope you forgive me?
Though not a cat enthusiast (although partial to the ones I’ve met), this is a great blog about city life, those we choose to share it with and the fodder they provide.Keep the cat tails coming!
A cat tried to kill my aunt. But whatever, I won’t hold that against you. Your writing is lovely and convincing; have you considered putting it to use for the power or Good, versus Feline Evil?
Loved it! Especially the thought of giving a cat a foot soak. We were told to give ours medicine twice a day by dropper. HA! Not so much – took her in for a one-time shot. MUCH Better!! Doug has the “lacerations” to show we tried. Nicely done!
I laughed out loud a few times! Reminded me of my experiences with one of my cats. Imagine this: You don’t have to soak the foot…but the cat’s butt…for half an hour every day! WHA?! Let’s just say…not so much! I think I still have the scars.
Thanks for reading Alicja! Hope to keep you giggling and thinking! T
I loved it! It was funny, honest and truly inspiring…Keep on blogging!
Hi Dawn! Hope you have come back to visit since your first time!
T, Kippie and Petey!
Thanks to everyone for all the encouragement! And a BIG thank you to my editor, nancy pants
Have you ever tried to give a cat Pepto Bismol? That might be the only thing more challenging (and more colorful) than a foot soak.
Erin, how am i only replying to this comment now? Shame on me! Um….Pepto Bismol? I didn’t know you could give that to cats! How do you know when a cat has heart burn?!Tamar
Ah memories, of my first kitten. Single girl, efficiency apartment and a kitten not used to moving vehicles. After an unfortunate ride I was forced to give him a b-a-t-h in the kitchen sink. I think I still have scars from his needle like claws. Even my yellow Playtex living gloves couldn’t protect me from Nicki.
Now my cat Katie is on her own. I steer clear of her hygiene needs.
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Hi Tamar
I have just read your comment on http://www.TheDailyTail.com. Thanks for the visit! Hope you become a subscriber. I subscribed to your blog already.
Sure, it would be great if you’d like to write us a guest post for The Daily Tail.
Thanks for responding! And subscribing! Don’t know if you would consider reposting any of my earlier posts? Or if you want an original. Would welcome any thoughts about the the type of story you think your readers would enjoy!
Some of the older posts that could be fun are:
(Cat) astrophic Thinking – how having cats has prepared me for motherhood
http://ihavecat.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/catastrophic-thinking/
The 2nd of Nine Lives – How I might be less of a stereotype now than when I was catless, working and had a man! http://ihavecat.wordpress.com/2009/09/09/the-2nd-of-9-lives/
WANTED: A MAN WHO LOVES PUSSY (CATS) – why i think men who love cats are most secure with the sexuality etc.
http://ihavecat.wordpress.com/2009/10/18/catloving-men-are-best/
CAT MAN DO (not) – why i think men and cats are actually quite similar and that having had cats growing up would have helped me get a man
http://ihavecat.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/catmandonot/
T
No, you are not alone! I totally understand how hard it is to try and do these things without any help.
A few months ago I had to give one of mine medicine that was like molasses. As sick as she was she still moved faster than me and got it all over her whiskers and chest. I was brushing it off her for days.
It is amazing what we will do for our kitties. Poor things. If only they knew it was for their own good.
Thanks for stopping by! once i tried putting Petromalt on petie’s paw so he would eat it and i would find it in the oddest places smeared in spots i’m not sure how he even reached! LOL he must have flug it off his paws! LOL
Hehe, you really made me giggle! I know I’m not alone in being a crazy cat lady! I am a member of a local charity and I as well as many others foster kitties and cats by the dozen, with more coming in each day! But it helps to know I’m not the only crazy cat woman out here in blogland! Great post! lol
So glad you enjoyed it MandaPanda! Thanks for visiting! You are not alone! And hopefully we aren’t crazy! Just big hearted right?!
T
Very funny, soaking the cat’s foot. Yes, I have done this many times with the wiggling, angry cat wanting none of it! It’s only the beginning….
the things we do! LOLOL
Ok, I have to say I have never heard of having to soak a cat’s feet in epsom salts and water – that is a first for me. And I have a lot of weird cat stories. But this, I am pretty sure, wins the prize! And yeah, we are all crazy and we would all do it if we had to!
Happy to hear I’ve raised the bar
Thanks so much for visiting and taking the time to post
I love your stories
. You are definitely not alone.
“You too soak paws, scoop litter, brush fur, trim claws, buy lint rollers by the case, and kneel to coax reticent kitties out from underneath sofas.”
I have done all of those except soaking paws. I just got a few scratches from Jackie today while trying to give him meds. He is sick right now and we are trying everything to get him better.
Have a wonderful day!
awwww thanks so much for the feedback and support! good to know i’m not alone!
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that was a too funny post!!! a pic to show all of this would of made it even funnier but i know us”catladies and men” can picture it in our minds lol!
I seriously never thought of posting a photo..hmmmm perhaps a good way to increase my readershi! LOL
hi,
I went thru your post…very precise and more to say that I liked whatever you said in here…cheers…especially this is cool…
“I’m not ashamed to say I do these things. I’m not ashamed to say: Yes, I have cat (s).”
keep up the good work…
Thanks so much Vishal – your comments and encouragement are greatly appreciated!
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Hi Tamar! This reminds me of the time I had to give eyedrops to Isabel. She had a little infection and was walking around my apartment with one eye shut. I still call her my pirate kitty. And I’m here to tell you its nearly impossible to give eyedrops to a cat when you have only two hands.
We alone-with-cat(s) gals have to stick together. No one else will listen to our stories of Epsom salt soaks and eyedrops.
That sounds dreadful! poor you and poor Isabel! so happy to “meet” you!!!! I’ve been bad about updates! I need to work on a new post asap!
Yes we are out there! And now I have six cats. It is very hard to to single handedly give eyedrops, push pills, give injections…but somehow we do it. Because we are Mothers and I’m a proud Cat Lady! (I also feed strays).
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Nor am I! I have fond memories, btw, of my ex showering with his cat buddy, who would step in and enjoy it every bit as much as, if not more than, my ex. Strange guy, that cat — but we loved him very much!
LOL…. I know what you mean Tamar – my Friday night consisted of us photographing one of our cats using a litter box…. But, unlike you, I did have a man with me… and we were photographing a cat using the litter box….
Riot! You have me beat…maybe?!
There are people that are not lucky to have their own children. That’s why they give their love and care for their pets.
Interesting comment from someone whose handle is “pet food.” hmmmm
So true! I know a few couples and are happy as can be with their furr babies.
I swear that vets give us these directions just so that they can imagine how hard it’s going to be for us to accomplish it!
seriously they must!
Erin, how am i only replying to this comment now? Shame on me! Um….Pepto Bismol? I didn’t know you could give that to cats! How do you know when a cat has heart burn?!
Tamar